Journey to Pregnancy

Since my last post, which was around the time that I conceived with out little bundle of joy, which we have nicknamed Pooky, and I thought that I would share with you my journey. I am 25+4 weeks along, in my 2nd trimester, and I can no longer hide it.

I will start from about 2 years ago, when my GP suspected that I had PCOS, and sent me to have a blood test and ultrasound to confirm it. Once it was confirmed, my GP suggested that I try to lose weight and get healthier, to see if my PCOS was obesity related or if my obesity was related to my PCOS.

I had worked hard for that first year and a half, having lost a total of about 16kg, which I am quite proud of. Andrew and I had been trying for about 6 months, and then my GP suggested that we should go see a fertility specialist, to get everything checked out. So at the beginning of this year we decided to visit a fertility specialist. He was confident that he would get my pregnant by the end of the year. So after the first visit, we were happy, that we were embarking on the next chapter of our lives and starting a family.

So I had to have a HyCoSy test, to check that there were no blockages in my fallopian tubes, the severity of my ovaries and the polycyst and for any abnormalities in my uterus. The results came back promising, that there were no blockages in my fallopian tubes, I did have quite a few polycysts in my ovaries but nothing to worry too much about, and my uterus was in tip top shape to carry to term.

Andrew had to complete an andrology test, and we were told that the result showed that he was AOK.

The issue that I had is that my body does not regularly dispense an egg from my ovary every month, and thus no baby.  We went back to see the specialist and he advised to opt for ovulation induction treatment first, and to try for at least 3 months and up to 9 months, before trying IVF. He advised that I would most likely conceive after the first cycle of IVF as with my condition my chances of carrying is approximately 80%.

So with prescription in hand and details for the fertility lab details to track my ovulation induction treatment, we left in high spirits. Not yet realising that, that week I had conceived during my forced period cycle required for the HyCoSy. We went to the chemist and picked up the ovulation medication required for the treatment, and all that was left to do was to contact the fertility clinic to start the tracking.

Due to the requirement of a number of blood tests in the middle of the month, a blood test every 2 days, we decided to put it off until things were sorted with my work roster, which was constantly changing on a weekly basis. After about 2 months, things weren’t any better with my roster at work, and we figured that if we kept waiting it would never happen. So at the end of April, I organised with the fertility lab the tracking and started the course of Provera, to force my period to start so that I could start the ovulation induction treatment.

With Provera, I was to take this medication for 5 days and then within a week of finishing the last pill my period should start. but it was two weeks later, and still my period was a no show. So I contacted my specialist, and he advised that he would get the lab to organise with me a blood test, and that he would be able to contact me with the results the following day. So they called me that Tuesday, and I went in straight away for the blood test, the nurse asked if maybe I was pregnant, and the thought didn’t even cross my mind, and I had told her no.

The next day at work my specialist calls me to inform me of my test results, and tells me that I am “very pregnant”. I was in total disbelief, and all I could respond with was “what?!?”. And organised to book to see him on Friday for a scan to see how far along I was, as the blood test showed too much pregnancy hormone and showed that I was passed 6 weeks. I hardly was able to contain myself that I called Andrew straight away to tell him the news. He too didn’t believe me, he too could only say “what?!?”. I had a spare pregnancy test at home, which hadn’t expired yet, and I decided to pee on the stick for the sake of it. and within 2 seconds, two red lines appeared, I was pregnant.

Friday afternoon couldn’t come sooner, we saw our specialist, all excited to see our baby for the very first time. So we had our dating scan and found that I was over 9 weeks pregnant. Wow!

Between then and now, I know that I have been lucky, not having got any morning sickness or weird funky cravings. Though now my belly is showing so much that I can’t hide it, though my belly button has barely flattened out or popped.

The crazy spiral of emotions

I know I haven’t posted much. But here is a start. Hubby and I have been trying to start a family for about 8 months with no avail. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome,  PCOS for short, two years ago.  So we were aware that I might have trouble conceiving. It was an emotional 3 months when I first came off the pill.  Lots of crying,  lots of grumpiness and lots of blah.

We have started seeing a fertility specialist and he is quite confident that I will be pregnant this year.  This is great news. I’ve pretty much nearly stopped looking at Facebook, because I have quite a few friends who have a family and their kids are growing up so fast,  then I look at myself and think why don’t I have a family? Why can’t I be pregnant? Why am I broken? My heart sinks when I see little babies and toddlers… Because I keep wishing that I had one or two of my own.

When I was first diagnosed with PCOS my doctor was sure that I had what is referred to as fat person PCOS. This was when I learnt that there were two types, if you are obese you can get PCOS which is reversible and the other is having PCOS and it makes you obese due to one of the symptoms which is pre-diabetes.

Are a few tests and having lost about 15kgs in the last year,  it would seem that I have PCOS for good. And thinking about my period cycles when I was growing up and going through puberty it all makes sense. I never use to be obese.  I was average until about 15-16 when I had my growth spurt. I got my period the year I started year 7, I was about 10 turning 11 that year. The years leading up to my growth spurt my periods were never regular. Ever.  When I hit my growth spurt,  I just ballooned and put in weight and to put it bluntly… I got fat. Right here ladies and gentlemen is PCOS at its best.

So I have lost 15% of my original weight and still PCOS lingers,  so it’s safe to say that I am stuck with it.  Over the past month both hubby and I have had tests done.  Blood test,  hubby had to do an andrology test and I had a painful ultrasound done.  Tomorrow is the day we go back to see the fertility specialist to get the results and take the next step.

As I sit here on the floor behind the door in the female toilets at work… Tear streaking down my face,  I feel so alone,  though I know that there must be millions of females just like me.  I feel like I have no one to really talk about all this. And feeling like such a girl hiding in the bathroom crying, and that makes me want to cry even more.

Time to pull up my big girl socks. Wash my face.  And put some Queen on so I can face the world.